The Fallen
by marysverse
Summary: Clark's in trouble, he turns to the one person who has always been there for him. But what if she doesn't answer?
1. Chapter 1

_**Ten Months after Season 8**_

He was hurt, he was hurt bad. He found himself in this predicament more and more often, but this time he knew he wouldn't make it to his Fortress. He needed a safe place to recoup. He winced as he pressed his hand harder against his stomach trying to ebb the steady flow of blood.

Staggering around trying to make his brain think, he looked up and saw it. A place he hadn't been to for a very long time. Chloe's place. He could make it there, he had to.

Ten laborious minutes later, he turned the knob surprised to find that it was unlocked and pitched forward into her domain. Rolling onto his back, he weakly called for her. There was no response. There's something not right here. He forced his eyes open to take in his surroundings. It looked exactly as it had when he had been there ten months ago. That can't be right. She would have this place buzzing with all her tech equipment at the very least. The lights were on but no one seemed to be home. He didn't understand, couldn't make his brain understand. His vision turned hazy and then turned dark.

_**Sometime Later**_

The first thing he was aware of was someone's heavy breathing. The pulse was irregular and the breathing hitched at times. He opened his eyes to find Oliver sitting in a chair a foot aware from him staring at nothing.

"Oliver?"

Oliver snapped his head to Clark's prone form and a small smirk tugged at his lips, and then he took another swig of his drink.

"So the boy wonder survives." He slurred his words a bit, he didn't care though.

Gingerly Clark sat up, happy to find himself whole and not bleeding anymore.

"What's going on, where's Chloe?"

"Well isn't that the million dollar question? Where is Chloe? Truth is I dunno, last time I saw her was nine months ago at some dive bar. She tried to convince me to return with her, but I think I have all the friends I need." He waved his bottle in front of Clark's face, sloshing himself in the process.

"What? What are you talking about? Chloe is missing?" He rubbed his head trying to make sense of Oliver.

"No, I wouldn't say she's missing. I'd say she's finally wised up. I'd say she's much better off in the new life she embarked on."

"Wait, she left? Well why haven't you found her and brought her back? Or are you too busy with that bottle to bother?"

"Oh no Clarkie. You don't get to bring your carcass back into our lives and make judgments. You left, remember? Pretty much said you didn't give a damn about us lowly humans anymore. You know, I always thought you were the good one, the golden child here to save the world. But when your best friend's world was crashing down around her, you left her high and dry. How is that for judgment?"

"I had to, I keep getting caught up in these human emotions. I can't make clear headed decisions being attached to humans."

"And what's Lois? Is she an alien? I would actually believe that. No Clark, you can't go that route, everyone's heard about you and Lois, Lois has made damn sure everyone knows her personal acquaintance with the red blue blur."

"That's different." He defended, not sure how to explain that one.

"No need to explain Clark. You are having a very human reaction. It's called being horny. Apparently the only human worth your time is the one you want to fuck, does that about sum it up?" Clark slammed him against the wall.

"Oh, I'm sorry, did I hit a nerve?" Oliver gasped as he tried to get his breath back.

"Really if that's not the reason, then what is it? When exactly did Lois become more important then the person who's known your secret since high school and spent pretty much the entirety of her life protecting you and putting herself in the crosshairs in the process! She's died for you, more times then you even know. How does she get relegated with the rest of us unimportant humans?" Oliver shoved him back as he fought himself to regain control. He couldn't be feeling like this, this bitter, vile anger that bubbled up, it sucked too much.

"What are you so mad at Oliver, since when did you care?"

Oliver let out a low chuckle and bent down to retrieve his bottle. He tipped his head back and let the fiery liquid burn through him once again.

"I don't care, not anymore. I tried, I tried to help, I tried to find her…but she hates us, do you know that she hates us? Wants nothing to do with the likes of us anymore, no more hero business for her, no more heroes that can't seem to save themselves." Clark had absolutely no idea what Oliver was rambling about and suspected Oliver wasn't too sure himself.

"Did you know she was pregnant?" Oliver grasped his bottle tighter and advanced slowly on Clark.

"What?! No way, Chloe has a kid?"

"Did you know, before you left her? You're a super man, you didn't hear another heartbeat inside her before you left her all alone? Your super vision didn't tell you the changes in her body?"

"God Oliver, no I didn't know! Wow, so a little Chloe running around. Maybe that's why she got out of the hero business?"

"I didn't say she had a kid. The last person she was in contact with was Dinah. She had been staying with her because she didn't want to be alone and one night they got to talking about you and me and the Justice League. And Dinah tried to get her to calm down, but she was so upset. Said she needed air. She left to go for a walk with tears streaming down her face. Dinah said she went to look for her ten minutes later and she found her beaten pretty badly, bleeding out and unconscious. The police say it had to be personal, the beating was intense and the perps didn't steal anything off of her. She lost the baby. And then she disappeared. When Dinah filled me in, I tried, I really tired to find her. Just to make sure she was okay. Dinah told me to give up, to leave her alone, that Chloe had spent her whole life helping us save people and when it came down to it, none of us could be there when she needed us the most. She hates us…and I don't blame her. I hate us too." Oliver went to stumble away.

Clark felt like his world was spinning, he never thought…she was always so strong, he had thought she would be fine. That she would be better than fine without him. He felt like he was going to throw up.

"Wait, Oliver, if she's gone, why are you here?"

"I come here everyday, I sit here with my bottle of whiskey and dream that she comes back. That she waltzes through that door ready to have us back into her life, happy and healthy as she disparages me on my drinking and cleans me up. I'm waiting for her save me." Oliver took the last pull of his bottle and threw it against the wall. He watched as the glass shattered and sprayed the floor and then he turned around and walked out the door.

"Some heroes we are." He muttered to himself as he left.

Clark spun around as he felt another presence in the room.

"Dinah? Watching over you leader?"

"Something like that." She crossed her arms and legs and leaned against the wall scrutinizing the man that could break Chloe so completely.

"Do you know where she is Dinah? I have to see her."

"No I don't and if I did, I would never tell you."

"Please."

"For what Clark? So you can tell her your sorry. Jimmy was dead, Davis was gone, Brainiac's possession was still rattling her, she finds out she's pregnant and the one person she thought she could rely on washed his hands of her. Without so much a tear I might add. No Clark. Be happy with Lois, your second-rate Chloe substitute and don't look for her. You will only bring her more pain."

"Lois is not a substitute! I love Chloe, I screwed up, I'll fix it."

"This isn't something you can fix. You have a funny way of showing your love to her. Stay with Lois, quite frankly you're not good enough for Chloe. You never will be. If I find you trying to get to Chloe, I'll find the largest green rock ever harvested and hit you with it. Got it?" She unfolded her lean frame and went to the door.

"Jesus, he leaves a trail of whiskey ever where he goes." And then she too was gone. Well this is what he had wanted. No attachments to worry about, no friends, no Chloe. Had it been his fault, had she lost the baby cause she had been too distraught to pay attention, to call for help? Maybe it had been one of his enemies, targeting Chloe, where it would hurt the most. He would find him, find the person responsible and rip him to pieces. And then…and then what? What would he do, without Chloe Sullivan?


	2. Chapter 2

He stood against a grimy brick wall, taking another drag of harsh smoke. He really should quit. The wind snapped at his hair and clothes as he took one last drag and flicked the cigarette onto the street.

She wasn't here. He'd been here for a week now and had lost the trace of her. It was time to move again.

His long lanky frame moved off the wall and headed towards his motel door, leaving it open as he swiftly unlocked it. As soon as he was inside he grabbed his duffel bag and started tossing the few items he possessed into the bag.

Reaching under the pillow he whipped out a snub nosed semi and aimed at the bathroom shadows and waited.

Clark stepped out of the bathroom and into the dismal light of the room.

He slowly squeezed the trigger, the temptation pulling at him.

"It's a shame this won't hurt you." He slowly eased off the trigger and tucked the weapon into his combat boots.

"So, should I contact the special victims unit to report your peeping tom ways or are you considering redecorating options for the bathroom?"

"It was the only window in your room." He had already figured that one out but he wasn't trying to do Clark any favors.

"What are you doing here?"

"I just wanted to know if you made any progress?"

He snorted in derision and disbelief.

"In case you didn't notice, we are not exactly the best of buds. Why would I give you an update on anything."

Clark sighed and rubbed his face.

"I need a lead."

"She's better off unfound then with you." He knocked another cigarette out of his pack and lit it up.

"What are you doing?"

"This? This is called smoking. You've probably never heard of it in the fairy tale world you live in."

"You know that's not what I meant."

He stared out the door letting the silence drag on. Storm clouds were gathering and fat droplets of rain began falling down promising a downpour.

"I just have to find her. She's out there somewhere, feeling some unimaginable pain, and I need to find her. Is that really difficult to understand?"

"No, I know exactly what you're feeling. I just think if we work together on this, we would have a better chance." Clark was hopeful, of all the members of Oliver's merry band, he was the most likely to team up with him.

"When did you get here Clark?"

"What?" Clark was thrown, confused as to what this had to do with his proposal.

"When did you get to this town?"

"A couple of days ago, what does this have to do anything?"

"She was here, I know she was here. Victor has been giving me leads, he's the only one who knows how she'll move, the procedures she'll use to mask her movements, her identity. She was here. But now you're here and her trail has gone cold. You think that's a coincidence?"

"You think she hates me so much she would bolt at the first sign of me? How would she even know I was here?"

"She's Chloe, of course she knows when you're around. We all let her down Clark, in every way, but you, you were the worst. Yea, I think she hates you that much."

Clark swallowed the lump that was forming in his throat threatening to choke him.

"I'm sorry."

"I don't get it Clark. You are one of the most caring people I've ever met. You were the guy I hoped I'd become one day. Someone I could emulate." A bitter chuckle rose out of him.

"But Chloe, you had blinders man. You didn't notice her pain, her troubles unless she clobbered you with it. Unless she asked you for help, you were happy sailing through life with your angst about one bimbo or another. I just don't understand." He turned away form the window, finally looking at Clark.

"We broke her Clark. Do you get that? She was drowning and none of us saw it, no one was there but you. And you, you failed her so completely. You can see everything and hear everything, everything but her."

Now it was Clark's turn to break eye contact. He looked back into the gloomy shadows of the bathroom, thinking he should just go back out the window and leave.

"I know. I know its my fault. Don't you think I know that?" Clark slammed his fist through the wall, the cheap plaster giving away easily.

"I'm just running out of options. I was never privy to her security measures, I don't know how she gets around incognito. I'm going crazy. I need to find her."

"And do what? What will you do when you find her?" He demanded angrily.

"I don't know!" Clark shouted back.

"In my head, I find her and I pour my heart out to her and I just hold onto her for dear life. I know that's not what's going to happen, but that's what's in my head."

"She'll never let you find her, let alone come close enough to touch her."

"What are you going to do? What is your big plan if you find her?"

"I'm going to tell her I'm sorry! Sorry for not being there to see what was happening. Sorry that when she came to ask for help with Oliver I told her that our fearless leader needed to save himself. Sorry for not realizing that when she came to me, she wasn't just asking for help with Oliver. Sorry I wasn't there to hold her hand during Jimmy's funeral. Sorry that I wasn't there for her…for her ba…for everything! And I'm going to beg, beg for the privilege to be her friend again, beg her to let me back in."

"You think that will work?"

"Its my only option. After all the times she's chased after us, to get us on track, do the right thing. I'll chase her until she lets me back in."

The sky was lighting with bolts and rumbles, he was getting soaked standing in the doorframe of the open door. He relished the cold seeping through him, numbing him.

He went to the bed and grabbed his duffel bag, heading toward the door with it. Clark beat him to it and blocked his way.

"I know we'll find her if we work together."

"She doesn't want to see you Clark, get over it. You come here and she bolts. I was here for a week, she was okay with me being here and because of you, I lost her again!"

"Just get out of my way Clark, and don't follow me. I know your weakness, I won't let you get in the way of finding her."

Clark bowed his head in defeat. He didn't know what else to do. He moved past him and into the storm.

Turning around to look at Clark, he felt a twinge.

"I don't hate you Clark. Mad as hell at you and wishing to god she had picked anyone else to be her best friend, but not hating. When I find her, I'll let you know if she wants to see you, if she ever gets to that point I'll tell you."

He turned back to the open road, thinking he'd let instinct guide him for a little while before he hit up Victor for another lead. He felt like she was close.

"Bart?"

He turned around again to look at Clark.

"Why didn't you use your power? To get away when I blocked you? You could have beat me out the door."

Looking down, Bart contemplated his shoes, the holes in them allowed canals of water to flow right through them.

"Oliver recruited me, but Chloe was the one who really taught me what my powers were for. To help others, to be a hero. I won't use them until I've earned the right. When Chloe can look at me again with her face shinning in that way that tells me she has complete and utter faith and belief in me. Then I think I'll be able to run like the wind." He turned the collar up to his leather jacket and faced the raging storm again, taking it one step at a time.


	3. Chapter 3

She scrubbed her body dry with the cheap motel towel. Catching her reflection in the mirror she paused to look at herself. She looked like hell, she thought without much feeling.

Splaying one hand across her stomach, she noticed how empty it looked. It was practically concave at this point, seeming to protest its' loss. She pulled on a robe and finger combed her hair.

"Chloe." A voice called to her cautiously.

Whipping around to the sound of the voice she saw Clark pulling himself out of the shadows.

"You're going to get a reputation if you keep watching people from the dark corners of their motel room."

"You've talked to him." Clark asked, surprised.

"Yes." She said simply, giving no more.

"You knew I was coming?"

"Don't flatter yourself Clark, the only reason you found me was because I allowed it." Clark processed this, wondering what it meant.

"I'm sorry." Clark whispered out, saying the only thing he'd been thinking for some time. She smiled in response.

"That's why I let you catch up to me. Because typical you, you're beating yourself up over something that's not your fault."

"I spoke with Bart and Oliver and I told them that they were being childish and ridiculous to blame you for everything. I left because I had to, because I couldn't stand it anymore. Not because of you, not because of anyone."

"But why Chloe? Why are you running?"

"I don't really know. I haven't quite figured that out yet. When I find what I'm looking for, then I can come back, maybe."

"I should have been there."

"You should have been there after Jimmy died, that's true. But it doesn't make you a bad person, just not that great of a friend." Clark shook his head and his eyes fell to her stomach. She wrapped her arms around her middle and turned away.

"That, is no one's fault but my own. I was careless. And part of me was so scared about having…it, without Jimmy, without anyone. I think I wished it away." Tears started falling down her face again, she was so damn tired of these tears. Swiftly she wiped her face with the sleeve of her robe and forced the drops to stop falling.

"Do you know who they were?"

"No, they were wearing masks."

Clark moved anxiously closer, wanting to hold her, afraid to touch her. He didn't know what to do.

"Listen Clark, I'm sorry. I think when I ran away with Davis, you thought I was taking his side or rejecting you in some way. That was never my intention. I thought I could keep him calm, keep everyone safe. How was anyone going to lock up a monster that's stronger than you?"

"And that's my problem, I'm always playing hero, thinking I can save the world. And I just end up, making a bigger mess."

"I just need time away from you guys, get a grip on reality, my reality, and maybe find some peace from everything that happened. I should've fought harder for Jimmy, I always made him insecure, and stopped fighting so hard these battles that aren't mine. I've lost everything trying to be someone I'm not."

"You've got me Chlo, you'll always have me."

A faint smile appeared on her pale lips as she shook her head.

"I've never had you Clark. Not really. And that's okay too, I made peace with that a long time ago."

Chloe sat down on the edge of her bed, she was tired of rehashing the past. Her long robe parted slightly and Clark could see how thin her legs were. He hadn't noticed over the bulky robe but now he could how much tinier she had gotten. He sat down next to her and put his arm around her, scared for her, and himself.

"You can't come with me Clark." It was weird that she could still practically read his mind, even after the rift. Clark just squeezed her tighter, careful not to hurt her.

"You have to let me see you once in awhile."

"Okay."

"And if I don't see you taking better care of yourself, I'll bug you every day."

"Clark, I'm a grown woman, I can take care of myself."

"Oh really? Did you know sleeping and eating are a huge part of the daily process of taking care of yourself?" He asked as he gently squeezed her rail thin arm, making his point.

"Alright Dad, I promise three square meals a day and eight hours of sleep at night." She almost had a genuine smile on her face as she said this.

"And coffee doesn't count as a meal." Her face immediately fell and she gave him a dark look.

"Its got calories." She replied defensively.

"No." She scrunched up her nose and frowned at him. And then she felt sad again. Was it okay for her to be bantering like this? Why was she talking about coffee with Clark? She felt confused and befuddled, and extremely tired. What was she doing here?

She laid back and curled to her side, and then the damn crying started again. Clark forced himself not to cry, seeing his life-long friend so lost. He curled up next to her, hugging her tiny frame to him and let his body absorb her sobs. How was she going to be okay again?


End file.
